Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
