weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
it's like iHOP with fire
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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