Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize