Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
