i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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