Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
