I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
