I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Randomize
