It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
