What a fucking waste of an outfit
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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