And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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