How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
