That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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