to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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