Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
