hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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