what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
