Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize