Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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