no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
