so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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