Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She even gives head with a lisp.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
