Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
