Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
