hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
