I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
