can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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