Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
