When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
