Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
