found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
