Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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