I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
