You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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