i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
soo... how was my night?
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