I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Someone came in the potted fern
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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