There is no way he is gay with that hair.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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