I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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