ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I supernannyed him into submission
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
