so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
