I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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