Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
