try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize