OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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