I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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