Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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