i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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