She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
PANTIES FOUND
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