I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
