boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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