Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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