everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
