areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He kissed a someone with a penis
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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