Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
