i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
