yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
