why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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