Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
