My first STD was from a foam party
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
