You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
