Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
