what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
