So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
