I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
