so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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