he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
