Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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