Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
