I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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