She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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