Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
