oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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