I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
