i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
