you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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