Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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