i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
