I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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