ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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