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I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
that's an acceptable place to lick
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Randomize
